The Uncomfortable Truth

Whenever we read about Nirbhaya, our insides shout with anguish and hate. It disturbs our mental peace. And whenever some disturbing statements of the rapists come to the fore, we want to distance ourselves from the reality of it… We cannot allow that to happen! They have to be killed! How can they even think like this? We begin to curse the rapists; we clench our fists and wish that they die a painful death. But we are frustrated with our helplessness.

The public furor against these unsettling thoughts is good, but that doesn’t seem to put a stop to it. The whole country was shocked with the extreme acts of injustice against that girl, and for a moment we thought we could actually bring about some change. But then the horror came to the surface. It’s a travesty that rapists are still out there large in numbers. People who blame the victims for a rape are also still roaming around, having fun by poking around their disgusting thoughts in the media.

It is uncomfortable, but it is the truth.

I am reminded of the most tragic scene from the Mahabharata –

Set in the Royal courtroom of Hastinapur, this scene depicts the game of gambling between Yudhisthir and Duryodhan. After losing everything, Yudhisthir puts his wife Draupadi at stake. Upon his victory, Duryodhan orders his brother Dushasan to bring Draupadi to the Hall. Dushasan pulls Draupadi by her hair and drags her to the courtroom in front of everyone. Then, just for fun, Duryodhan orders his brother to strip her. And there, in front of all the dignitaries present, Dushasan begins to strip Draupadi.

All great men were present in the Courtroom. Arjun, the greatest warrior of all time was meek like a coward. The valiant Karna, who was as skilled as Arjun supported his friend Duryodhan. Bhishma Pitamah, the eldest in the family was a mute spectator to this heinous crime. The revered Guru Dronacharya and the family sage Kripa were lamenting, regretting but sitting still. Among these was Dhritrashtra, the King, who was sitting in the Throne, who could have stopped Duryodhan, but did not, since he was “blind”. None of the great men came to Draupadi’s defense.

 And then, lamenting limitlessly, among all the tears, the fearless Draupadi rose and asked these questions –

“Is a woman a property of the masculine gender? What right did Yudhisthir have over her that he put her at stake? Why were all the great men silent when she was being humiliated? Is this how women are treated by the people? Why was everyone silent when Dushasan was trying to strip me? If a queen like me, the wife of great king Yudhisthir, cannot be protected by this council, how then would ordinary women expect justice?”

Today, the same scene is being repeated. Women are humiliated and raped and murdered. There is a Duryodhan who does this only for fun. There are all the people, the police, the judiciary who are only watching the drama, as passive and motionless as the coward spectators in the Hastinapur courtroom. And there is the administration, blind just like Dhritrasthra, doing nothing.

Unfortunately, Draupadi’s questions still remain unanswered.

Is it because we don’t want to answer it? Or is it because we are too scared to face the truth? 

Rapes are the reality of India. We’re not comfortable with this. But this discomfort is necessary. It is a living reminder of the fact that we’re living in a barbarian society. Shutting down the voices of rapists or turning off the television or changing channels is not the solution to this problem.

We, as a society, are so immature that we cannot face this situation. Everyone would say ‘it is wrong, it shouldn’t have happened’; but it almost always comes with a rider, ‘Girls should not go out late at night, should wear decent clothes’! Believe it or not, you and I are equally responsible for this mess.

A society that does not respect women is doomed for sure. It is time we grow up and solve this situation. Here is my little contribution.

To all the parents –

Tell your son how important it is to respect a girl. A hero is not the one who shows his dominance over the feminine gender, but one who earns respect by giving respect. Talk to him about the meaning and importance of ‘consent’. It is not a right; he has to work for it. To all the fathers, how you treat your wives is a big lesson to your son about how to treat women. Remember that you need to show some respect to your wife and expect the same from your son. Do not question your daughter in front of your son. If you want to question her, start with him. He should not grow up with a belief that there are different rules for men and women. There shouldn’t be.

To all guys – 

Don’t try to be a macho. It sucks. Don’t stare at girls and hope to be liked in return. You’re a jerk and the only thing you want is to sleep with her. Admit it. Grow up and learn to show some respect. Don’t keep calling or texting her at odd hours in the fake belief that she would like you for it. Your mentality of being a pervert is an important signal about your stand on rapists. If you’re not in the above category, congratulations! But spread this message to your friends who are.

To all girls – 

I don’t even know what to tell you, except for the fact that in each of you I see a Draupadi who is as fearless as Nirbhaya and who stood in front of all the dignitaries and had the courage to question the mentality of this society. Draupadi’s question was the centerpiece of Mahabharata war. It incited the Pandavas to war and it was the biggest war of its time. Do not give up. Stand and question the society.

Remember that we are at war. Not with the handful of these rapists; but with the mentality of this society. I am not afraid of the Duryodhans of the modern world; they are at least open about their mentality. I am more afraid of the Bhishma Pitamahas of this world, who stand tall and claim to fight for justice but remain silent when the time comes to speak up.

This is a hypocrite country, and it’s creepy like hell.