A conversation with an auto driver...

That day everything was just as usual. I hailed an auto-rickshaw from the road after leaving office and sat inside.

“Chembur,” I announced. And he drove off.

Usually my ride back home is about an hour. So I sat back and figured out what to do. Normally, I read random stuff on mobile or any book if I carry one. I took out my cell phone when the auto driver started –

“Sir, do you smoke?”

I was taken aback by this sudden question. “No, I don’t.”

Then he continued to drive for about a moment or two. Maybe he was figuring out how to frame the next sentence. “Do you mind if I smoke now?”

“While driving?”

“Yes!”

“Not now, please. You can smoke after you have dropped me.”

He didn’t protest, but I could feel a sense of disappointment in his conduct. What was it? Was he suddenly driving fast? Nevertheless, I didn’t think much and continued with whatever I was trying to do when he started again, “Just one bidi sir. How will it make a difference to you?”

Although that was a valid question, but I just felt I must stop him. Concerns about passive smoking were probably in my mind when I said, “It does. I don’t like it.”

Then we continued for about half a kilometre when we hit a traffic jam. This is common in that area. Loud horns, unorganised traffic and heavy smoke. No normal person would have liked that traffic jam, except maybe, the auto driver. He suddenly found this as his opportunity to taunt me.

“Look sir, all the smoke coming from those vehicles – big buses and trucks. That makes no difference to you. And you won’t let me smoke.”

Before I could think of what to answer, a strange thought crossed my mind. I considered this guy for a moment. I mean, normally any auto driver would not have said what he did. And even after having clearly told him that I don’t want him to smoke, he was thinking about it still. So, naturally I asked him, “Are you really so addicted to cigarettes?”

“Bidi sir, not cigarette”

“Yeah, they’re both the same.”

“But of course they are not! Cigarettes are for rich people.”

“I was not talking about rich or poor. That is immaterial because both kinds of people are addicted. I am asking are you addicted to it so badly that you wouldn’t wait even till you have dropped me.”

“No, I’m not addicted. I was just asking…”

Obviously I did not believe him. In fact, he was making it harder to believe with every passing second. I swear I heard him saying some things. Probably he was cursing me under his breath. I thought to myself, do I want this person to smoke while I am sitting in the auto? No, of course not!

And then I took my chances. I am not going to let this person smoke. On the contrary, I am going to convince him that it’s bad.

“You look quite young,” I started conversationally, “What’s your age?”

“31”

“Oh you don’t look like it,” I meant it. “So, who else is in your family?”

“Sir you are distracting me only so I can stop thinking about bidi, aren’t you?”

“No, of course not! I am most certainly interested,” I said.

“I have a wife and daughter. Three years old”

“Why do you smoke so much? Don’t you know it is bad for health?”

His reply came so swift that it surprised me. I was expecting him to think about it. Maybe show some signs of considering what I had just said. But he replied almost just as I finished my question. Maybe he was asked, or had asked himself, this question many times.

“I know it is not good for health sir. Which is why I am trying to curb it. Look I don’t smoke more than three or four times in a day. You should know how I was a few years before this.”

I believed him. But that wasn’t a good news.

“But why do you smoke still? How does it benefit you?”

“It gives me energy. I feel a craving for it. My hands won’t work properly. I won’t be able to drive without it. I’m telling you. Let me smoke, and then see. I will take you in a matter of seconds. Otherwise it will take hours for us to reach”

I laughed, “Oh really, so your bidi helps you to concentrate on the road? Interesting!”

Most certainly, for him, it would be hours before we reach. Because every passing second that he does not get to touch his bidi was like a punishment to him.

“I don’t accept what you say. Look I don’t smoke. Can’t I work properly? I don’t need to smoke to get any energy. In fact, nobody needs to smoke to get energy. I don’t understand why you smoke even when you know it is bad for you?”

There was a long pause before he spoke again. I thought maybe he is not interested in talking about it. But I didn’t know that now was when the conversation would turn so interesting.

“Sir, do you love someone?”

I was naturally perplexed by this question. “Yes why! I love many people…”

“No, not like that. What do they say… do you have a girlfriend?”

“Oh that… No, I don’t!”

“When you fall in love, only then you will realise.”

“Only then I will realise what?”

“When you love, reasoning is beyond question. You do things just for pleasure. It is the same with me sir. Just assume that I am in love with bidi. It gives me happiness. I would do anything for it. I would sacrifice for it even when I know it is bad.”

I had talked to many people before who smoke. They had given me many reasons. It feels good… it gives energy… it relieves stress, and what not. But his reply was most interesting. I had never dreamt that a person could compare smoking with the feeling of being in love.

“No,” I started again, “that is not how it is. Love is a very good feeling. When we love someone, we would sacrifice anything for their happiness. We would give up on things that we desire. When we love someone, we don’t think of ourselves, we think of their happiness. Many people quit smoking because their girlfriends tell them not to. That, my friend, is love.”

I noticed a little bit of shame in his eyes. But then he smiled and said, “The way you talk, I think you really have a girlfriend!”

I laughed.

“That’s not the point of discussion. The point is that you are comparing this addiction with love. I don’t agree…”

“I know it’s bad,” he admitted.

I felt pity for him. Of course he knows it’s bad. But he still hadn’t given me the convincing answer. Nobody had given me a convincing answer ever before. People know it is bad to smoke, but they are never able to stop it.

Since he didn’t say anything more, I thought the discussion had probably stopped at this abrupt note. We continued to drive for a while more when the auto rickshaw started vibrating. I asked him what happened. And he said –

“Look you’ve come at a very unlucky time for me. First off, you don’t let me smoke. Second off, the gear wire is now damaged.”

For a moment I thought that he was probably faking it up so that I take another auto and he gets to snatch a bidi for himself. That was a very bad thought. I mean, was he really so addicted to smoking that he would give up on his opportunity to earn?

Later I realised that there was genuinely some problem with the gear wire.

“I won’t be able to change gears now. That only means I have to drive slow, and that only means we will reach even later.”

And I almost expected him to speak one more sentence as a natural extension, which came immediately –

“At least, now let me smoke!”

Was he teasing me now? Even by the standards of smokers, he was way too much! His auto is damaged and the only thing he can think of right now is smoking?

“Doesn’t your family tell you not to smoke?”

“They did. They used to shout at me. Everyone was so angry when they got to know that I smoke. They would not speak to me for months. I was trying to stop it but how can they just stop talking to me like that, my parents?”

And then he added in spite of himself, “Nobody was with me. Only my bidi was with me.”

“No,” I said, “Your bidi was the reason why nobody was with you.”

He considered me for a minute like a kid.

Something inside me told me to continue. “How would your daughter feel? She’s just three years old. It is harmful for her also. For your whole family. Think about it. Quit smoking.”

“I’m not an idiot. I don’t smoke in front of my family. I know it is bad and I will ensure that my family doesn’t get into this addiction. You know I have a younger brother. Once I saw him smoking. I shouted at him for it.”

I didn’t speak anything. I knew he would realise and would say what I wanted him to say.

“I know I do it myself. But then at least they should not start now!”

Without warning, the auto-rickshaw came to a halt in the middle of the road. He examined it for a moment and then requested me to help him push it for him. I stepped down, pushed the vehicle for a while so it starts again.

“Sir, I will have to drop you at the nearest garage. You please find any other auto from there.”

“Okay,” I said.

And so we went to this nearest garage. The meter showed an amount of 67. I had no change except a 500 rupee note. Even he didn’t have change.

“Okay, you get your vehicle repaired. Till then I will look around at the nearby shops for change. I will get back to you with the money”

“Alright sir,” he said.

I had to walk some 50 metres to get change and then I came back, only to realise that he was not in his vehicle. I looked around for signs of him. I asked the garage owner if he came there. He said that nobody came to him. His auto was there but he was totally out of sight.

I kept waiting for about 5 to 7 minutes. Finally I saw him walk down from a distance.

“Where have you been? I kept looking for you,” I told him.

He didn’t say anything.

“How long did you expect me to wait? I was about to leave without paying your due. I could have easily gone without paying you. What was so important that you didn’t wait to collect your money as well?”

“Sir, I went to that shop to have bidi”