Procrastination... and how I got over it!

I have a ‘task-list’ on my computer. When it is completed, I simply have to click on the icon next to it and the task disappears. When some task has passed its due date, it changes colour to red and is thus highlighted. For about two weeks by my calendar – the whole list was red.

“That’s not a big deal,” you are probably saying, “It’s quite common to miss the deadlines. Though it isn’t something to be proud of, you shouldn’t make such a fuss either!” I would have expressed my gratitude for your support and understanding, but I know better. It was not that I hadn’t completed the tasks on time that was bothering me, it was the fact that I hadn’t even started! Even that would have been acceptable by some stretch of logic, but what if I told you that the task-list included items like ‘pay the credit card bill’ or ‘call the customer care’ – overdue five days!

Ah… don’t even think that I didn’t have the time. I had a lot of time to stare at my task-list (and ignore it), but I just didn’t do it. Besides, paying a credit card is just a few minutes and maybe three clicks on the computer. Calling the customer care is just one key press and a few words out of the mouth. One could finish these things side by side even while focusing on an important conversation with a scientist about his latest invention! Who doesn’t find time for that in five whole days?

So, unless you believe that I was the President of five countries or that my house had been attacked by Al Qaeda, you’ll understand that there was some problem.

If I were to try and explain my problem, I will have a very tough time. How do we describe what I was going through? I have a reasonably manageable vocabulary, mind you. Expressing the issue is not my concern, understanding it is. I was procrastinating, of course – trying to delay things, avoid doing things, finding reasons to justify inaction – but procrastination was a symptom, I don’t believe it was the root cause.

And finding the root cause was necessary. Without it, any suggestion coming my way was useless, worthless and meaningless. There cannot be medication without diagnosis. And often, expressing the symptoms to the doctors is a tricky challenge. I also consulted some doctors (well, symbolically doctors, I’m talking about friends), but their responses only discouraged me further!

It was funny but most of the time I would just – do nothing. I am interested in many things. I like reading, I love writing, and I listen to music almost always. But I wasn’t doing any of these either! Some friends guessed I was probably unhappy or bored. But I don’t think that explains it. Most of the time, I wasn’t thinking about anything at all. I was just not doing anything – except breathing maybe!

I just didn’t want to put in any effort. For some vague unexplained reason, every ‘verb’ in every language was an enemy for me. I don’t even know how I was living (‘living’ is also a verb I guess). My motivation to do anything was so base I might just as well have been a tree. “What? You’ve got a suggestion for me? Does it involve any action? Yes? Ah, then it isn’t for me!”

One of my friends said, “You’re lazy, accept it. There isn’t any other explanation to whatever you’re experiencing!” Was I lazy? Technically, they define laziness as the unwillingness to use any energy. While that was true for me, but it wasn’t just about energy. I mean – come on, did I avoid making that bill payment only because I didn’t want to use any ‘energy’?

Laziness was probably a part of what was happening to me. But without dwelling on the idea for too long, I accepted that I was lazy. But then laziness – rather like procrastination – was also only a symptom, not the cause. I was lazy, alright, but that still didn’t explain WHY?

I wasn’t completely sure of that. Anyways, I settled for the time being – with the thought that I’ve become lazy and that I keep procrastinating things. Then I had to think about how I could get over this problem. Well, doing that also involved a little bit of ‘effort’ right, so the little devil inside my mind kept reminding me that laziness and procrastination are just symptoms, I still don’t know the problem. So maybe I should wait till I find the problem. Till then, I should (yes, you guessed it) ‘do nothing’!

With a lot of unwilling effort, I convinced myself to try some solutions to this issue. I thought of setting smaller targets – very small. Like, they would take two minutes to complete. Then, I would find a lesser inertia to get done with it. This approach worked for a little bit. But wasn’t fool proof. Like everything else, this came with inherent disadvantages – I suddenly realised that I am fooling myself and that I should maintain my stance of not doing anything!

Parkinson’s law, which states that ‘work expands to fill the time available for its completion’, was as real for me as death. I would never finish anything before the deadline. Then I wondered – maybe this is the truth of life. Maybe we need to have deadlines in life – that’s the only way to tackle this attitude of laziness and procrastination. So I began making my own deadlines. That also worked for me in the beginning. But I wanted to be sure that I don’t manipulate my own targets and fidget with them by being a slave of my laziness.

So I entrusted the responsibility of checking me to some of my friends. I would tell others, “Hey! You know what – I’m going to finish this by Tuesday. Mark my word, I’m going to do it.” It worked like magic for quite some time. I would feel guilty if I didn’t do it by Tuesday, so to avoid that guilt I completed my tasks before the deadline. Of course, I had the option of lying to my friend that I finished it without actually doing it. But it takes a lot of effort to break that particular barrier of conscience. So, instead of lying outright (saying I did it when I didn’t) I began to form justifications, which were still lies of course! And that hurts, trust me.

I was sandwiched between solutions which became my problems. It was paradoxical. I mean, I didn’t want to do anything. So, to get over this situation, I had to do something. But then, my problem was that I didn’t want to do anything! And so, after a while, I became frustrated. Would I ever come out of this paradox? How? When?

Many people tend to think philosophical in times of stress. Well, there was at least something I had in common with ‘many people’. In the Holy Gita, Lord Krishna says “One does not attain freedom from Karma by merely abstaining from work. No one attains perfection by merely giving up work, because no one can remain action-less even for a moment. Everyone is driven to action – helplessly indeed – by the forces of Nature.”

No one can remain action-less even for a moment! These words were indeed thoughtful. 

I had tried everything. I tried to motivate me by giving smaller targets and larger rewards on completing them. But the carrot and stick approach was failing. It was as if I was fooling myself. Surely this meant I was not giving myself what I really needed.

So then I tried giving myself challenging deadlines. Sometimes, it works for people – give them a challenge. This serves as a motivating factor. Many people take it upon themselves to prove that they can face something in the heat of it. However, as I did not solve my problem by doing it – I still felt that I was not giving myself what I really needed.

Somewhere deep in my heart it was painful. Not being able to do anything. And having someone who can do everything for me was such a tempting desire! But what would that make me? A coward or a failure or I don’t even know what! How could I just sit there and watch when everything is happening.

It was as if I was being carried away by a flowing river and I was not even making any effort to know the direction. I was not ‘moving’, I was ‘being moved’. I was not doing anything, things were happening to me. I think that is what Krishna meant when he said that ‘everyone is driven to action – helplessly indeed – by the forces of nature’

I may choose not to act, things will change still. What I can do, though, is to control my fate!

I realised this truth quite late. Here’s a simple example:

I had to call my telephone service provider’s customer care number, just for confirmation. I never got myself to do it. I kept procrastinating it – delaying it for no apparent reason at all. Result – they charged me heavy penalty for usage of data services on roaming, in absence of a plan which I believed was still in operation. Had I called them I wouldn’t have to pay this. Had I hatched the egg, with a little effort – I wouldn’t have lost the wings!

Without getting into the details, let’s just say that actions have consequences. But inaction has its consequences too! And trust me, inaction has much worse and uncontrolled consequences.

Action is the truth of life. For those who procrastinate and avoid doing things out of laziness, here’s what I say – this is not the way of life. Life gives us a chance to act and get what we want. If we don’t get up and do it, NOW, life will give us something that we never wanted. And then there will be no arguing. You cannot plead cheating when you didn’t even fight in the match!

There’s no alternative to action. There is no way out. The faster we realise this hard truth – the better we will be in life! May everyone live a happy and peaceful life! May everyone keep on smiling!

Regards,

Palkesh