The Other Side of Me...

Hello everyone... I am so happy that you have shown immense trust in me by coming here and showing interest in my blogs. I feel really honoured...

Now, let me begin first things first. Some of you might have noticed the irony here. The title of my blog is “The Inner Side of Me...” and this post is titled something very different. Quite ironical, isn’t it?
Well, before I say anything let me clarify that this is an original text written by me only and I don’t intend to infringe any copyright laws (For those of you who don’t know, “The Other Side of Me” is also a book authored by Sidney Sheldon) In any case, I find it very irrelevant because I always feel we all have two sides in life.

I find it quite mandatory to lay it out in the open the thin line of difference (The level of thinness, or thickness varying from person to person) that separates these two sides in a person. It is the inside that helps us to grow and dream big and to think of all those things that we can do. And it is the harsh practical outside which always tends to find problems with things.

I am suddenly reminded of this incident from the life of Mahatma Gandhi. (I must be frank, I am not sure whether this incident is really from the life of MK Gandhi or not, I just heard it somewhere. Nevertheless, I am sure you can get the point from the incident...)

It so happened that a lady approached the Mahatma and requested him to teach her child that having tobacco is really dangerous for us in our lives. This lady was very upset with the fact that her child serves himself tobacco which is harmful for human body. So she went to the Mahatma, and requested him to teach her child about this. Upon hearing this, Gandhiji requested the woman to come after two weeks.

The lady obeyed, and after two weeks she was curious to know what reason caused the delay? To which, this is what Gandhiji spoke, “How could I have taught this young boy here to stop taking tobacco when I do it myself? How could I have told him to stop doing something in spite of the fact that I do it myself? Would my conscience allow me to do that? It never would. Hence, I took a time of two weeks to ensure that I get over my addiction for tobacco myself... before I start teaching others to do this...”

(Once more I repeat, I am not sure whether this is from the life of Mohandas Gandhi or not... but I guess this detail is irrelevant in any case...!)

Believe it or not friends - just recalling this story moves me a lot. How many of us here in the world have a similar thinking? How many of us would think and begin to look at ourselves and correct ourselves before we start spreading the word across the market...? It is easy to point out the flaws and comment on them... but it is indeed very difficult to act upon it.

In my first post, I had shared a poem with all of you. It is my humble request to you – please read that poem once after you finish reading this post... (Just scroll down to the bottom of this page, you will find it there.) In my second post I had talked about how we should be wise enough to take our decisions and brave enough to stand by them. In my last post, I had pointed out my opinion about how the biggest problem that lies in our nation at the moment is the fact the economic benefits are not shared equally. I had promised you I would elaborate it here, but I thought there was something else more important.

These things seem to be very big and promising indeed... but at the core; these are nothing more than fake promises. It is a very rude question indeed... but since I am asking this to myself, so no-body can challenge my rudeness---- “Well, Mr. Palkesh Asawa... What good is your blog contributing to the world? What have you done? Who are you to share things with people and guide them? Have you done anything of this in your life that you claim to be the Universal Teacher of Ethics..?”

So as you can imagine, when my inside asks this question, “the Other Side of Me” replies... NO!

I should not hate the Other Side of me for the genuine reply it gives... truth is always so bitter. But bitter or not, this is only half the truth. And I am here to share the other half with you. In all my last posts I had talked about all the ideologies that we can imagine to be in our “Utopia” world. But I guess now it is time to come down... time to descend to the hard-core realities... time to realise and feel the taste of humiliation... time to move down the hierarchy... time to stop criticising the top leaders and politicians, and time to start talking about the common man.... Time to talk about you... and about me...!

It was not until recently that I did this exercise with myself that I came to know what lies in the other side of me. You do it for yourself my friends, and you will notice that we all have the other side that always tends to pull your leg back and that always tends to avoid doing anything new and different. I will give you a simple example to prove my point:

I work in my office regularly. I am confronted with several situations where I can’t justify my deeds with my principles. Many such instances occur where I do things in spite of knowing that this is exactly what I am telling others not to do. In my last post, I had raised the issue of corruption. It took me a single moment to absorb the utter truth about myself.

We have all bribed an officer some or the other time in our lives... I see things happening in front of my eyes... I see my hands contributing to the process... I feel the regret and often tend to stand outside and think over it when I am alone... I appear to be so helpless at times that I don’t know whether I really am what I think I am...?

These are some instances which help me to conclude that there exists another side of me... which is very different than how I present myself here on my blog. I am sure we all face this problem, don’t we? But does that mean one of these sides is just a show-off? Does that mean I don’t feel all that I say from the depth of my heart? Or does that mean that my harsh, rough and blind outside has bound me so hard that there is no escape for what I feel?

CA students often have to go through such circumstances (And if you don’t, I wouldn’t call you very lucky, because that only proves you’re a dummy!) For those who are not CA students... the last line was supposed to be a joke...! So you can laugh a little!

The point of joke being – that such circumstances are evident everywhere in life. It’s not just about corruption; it is about many other things. Many-a-times in life, we are faced with situations where we are forced to do something that we otherwise would have abstained from doing. How do we justify our acts? And for that matter, can we still justify our principles?

This is a question that cannot be answered without controversies and criticisms. Not that I am not afraid of controversies, but I would still like to answer it –

When these kind of circumstances occur in life, your inside always tells you to go to the right path, but still there is something that holds you back – this resistance to change, this feeling of being helpless and irrelevant in the world, this set-back that haunts your progress (your spiritual progress I mean...), this abstinence from the righteousness – all this is what lies outside you...

And this outside is so opaque and intact that it hardly lets the inner side to breathe out in the open...! But mind you – this does not mean that there is no inside...

To come out of this coded language, I would simply say – There are situations where you cannot follow your principles, but that does not mean your principles are weak... in fact, that means your principles are very strong... It is not easy to bear this feeling but the fact that you have such a feeling is a big reason to congratulate yourself. The following line speaks more that you will listen –

A feeling that I am at fault... is a joy in itself...!

So in spite of the fact that even I am not able to do many things that I point out in my blog... I am happy to be communicating to you this way, because as the line above says – the feeling that I am at fault, is a joy in itself... And I am very happy! So this is what I wanted to tell you, about the other side of me.

We are all people with principles and values. We all have certain dreams in life. But why is it that only some of us emerge as the ultimate winners, only some dreams are converted into realities? It is only because we don’t do what we should! It is difficult, but it is not impossible. I always keep trying, and all of us should. But most important element that we possess in this fight – is perseverance and faith... and even more important – Hope!

As far as I am concerned... there is just one thing I can say for sure –

Whenever there is a fight between my inside and my outside... the inner side of me... always wins!!

Yours forever

Palkesh Asawa