That feeling called Happiness...

I was sitting against the seamless Pacific Ocean in Haeundae Beach, one of the most famous beaches of South Korea located in the coastal city of Busan.

There were hundreds of people around me. Men and women of mid-thirties cheering with their families, young couples in their early twenties having a merry time near the ocean, little children playing with conches and sand, some elderly  people sitting by and probably counting the last few days of their lives. It was just like any other beach I had visited – full of activity, smiling faces, the rustling sound of water and the cool sea breeze…

Yet, there was something different. I felt alone.

Yes, I was alone. In that crowd of so many people, there was probably none who was noticing me, or even acknowledging my presence. Of course I had no complaints – for, do we ever pay attention to people around us when we go to a beach with our friends and families? We seldom do. But when we go alone, that is the only thing we do. So, I set to work. Carefully observing people and how they were lost in their own lives. Cute smiles, loud laughters, warm hugs and romantic kisses… People gossiping in foreign language of which I didn’t understand even one word.

That was when I terribly missed my family and friends. For a moment or two, I felt strangely isolated in the big busy world, where I am so unnoticed, so unaccepted! Why am I here? That one feeling which crossed my heart at that moment – that was sadness.

Nobody likes feeling sad. So I thought of something. Music is the best solution, isn’t it? So I started listening to a very nice song from the movie Talaash. I am trying to put in black and white, an account of how my thoughts changed with the melodious tunes of music –

Laakh duniya kahe, tum nahi ho – tum yahin ho… tum yahin ho…!

Meri har soch me, meri har baat me, mere ehsaas me, mere jazbaat me…

Tum hi tum ho – tum har kahin ho….!

No, I was destined to be here. It was meant to be that way! Yet, simply because my near and dear ones are not with me at the moment – why should I feel sad? They’re here… they’re all with me! And they shall always be with me. I am not alone, and never will be!

Tumne choda hai kab saath mera, thame ho aaj bhi haath mera…

Koi manzil, koi rahguzar ho – aaj bhi tum mere hamsafar ho!

Jao chahe jahan… tum wahin ho!

Everyone is with me, wherever I may go. Yet, I am here for a purpose. I am here on a journey. Would it be of any use, if I come here and feel alone for a while and go back? Why am I here? I want to leave an impact. I am here. I wanted to make that presence felt. I think all of us go through this stage of life. We want to make our presence felt!

And I did just that (well, symbolically!)

Khushboo banke hawao me tum ho, rang banke fizaao me tum ho!

Koi gaaye, koi saaz gunje – sab surili sadao me tum ho –

Tumko har roop me, dil hai pehchaanta…

Log hain bekhabar, par hai dil jaanta….

At that moment – I made a decision. I got up and with the earphones still in place, music on, I started writing something on the sand. That was when people first began to notice me. Hey, it felt good. Well, we all keep writing something or the other on the sands whenever we go to a beach.

But for me this time, it had a symbolic meaning. I was doing it to make my presence felt. I was doing it so that people around get to know that I am here. I am also here.

Tum yahin ho… tum yahin ho

Tum yahin ho… tum yahin ho!!

Once or twice, the waves came and washed away what I was writing. I did not give up. I wanted to write it. For that one moment, it became a purpose. I had to do it. So I would start all over again, and I had to write it. Yes – people around me began to notice me even more. Some would pass by and stop to have a look at what I was writing. They would never utter a word. Just look at it, exchange some words with each other and leave. But I felt good – people were noticing me!

Tum yahin ho… tum yahin ho

Tum yahin ho… tum yahin ho!!

And this is what I wrote –

Palkesh (India) was here, 12^th October 2013, Busan, Korea

After I finished, I clicked some photographs. Just at that time, one small child came running and was about to step on my writing. It would just have disrupted it all, when his mother came and stopped him. She said some words in Korean. Of course I didn’t understand. Then she passed me a sweet smile, and took him away. Yes – they were acknowledging my presence.

I felt proud after I finished. I then packed my bag and turned to leave. Just then, a man came and observed what I wrote on the sand. He had been sitting all along when I was writing this. He looked at me with warmth in his eyes. We did not talk, since we would never understand words.

Yet, I knew what he wanted to ask. And I gave the answer to myself –

Yes, I am from India. They say Indians are everywhere all around the globe. One of them was here!

And then I walked away triumphantly. I had made my presence felt. Of course, the water will wash away that fact, but memories will remain forever. That one feeling, which crossed my heart when I was leaving – that is called happiness!

Yours forever,

Palkesh Asawa