Moving out of our comfort zone…

It was more than three months ago. I had come to know that I will have to travel to South Korea for a project. I had not heard much about this country, except in context of the famous companies Samsung and Hyundai. So naturally I started exploring more about it. And some of the facts that I came to know had depressed me.

I realised that Korea was a very difficult place for vegetarians. And it is, actually. With three months of my experience living here – that is one thing I can confidently say. So even before coming here, I had been very apprehensive. I remember talking to my guide in the company. While he was telling me that this is going to be one of the most important opportunities in my career, I interrupted him and said, “Sir, what am I going to eat?” He looked at me for a couple of seconds and then said this.

“I know your friends might be telling you all sorts of things about Korea and that it is very difficult to survive without accepting non vegetarian food. Some might even be telling you to cancel going. But remember this – had I been you, I would never say no to this opportunity.”

Well, I admit I wasn’t satisfied with this answer. Primarily because he was a non-vegetarian! But then he said something else and it made me ponder. He said, “If you really want to be comfortable always then you should not have come out of home in the first place!”

So okay… this was not going to be an all happy trip. I am not going to any internationally famous tourist destination. I am not going to have everything at my disposal. I don’t even know what I am going to eat for three months. With these thoughts in my mind, I said I was ready to take up the challenge.

Why?

That is a good question to ask. And many times I try to give an appropriate answer to myself. I really had the choice not to go… still I decided to go. Why?

Nah! I did not want to prove that I am a hero of sorts. Those words said by my guide were still ringing in my ears. If you wanted to be comfortable always, you should not have come out of home! I wanted to go out of my comfort zone. I wanted to test my patience. I wanted to face it. So the decision had been made. But it wasn’t so easy. I hadn’t yet seen it.

So I came here and I still remember the first day when I went into the plant canteen to see what was prepared for lunch. Well there were all types of food items prepared, but the only things I could eat was – some plain rice and kimchee.

Okay! I told myself. I never liked rice. All of a sudden thousands of memories crossed my mind. There were times when my mother used to prepare rice along with so many other food items and I used to say I am not going to have rice. And here, there was no choice. In the breakfast I had to adjust with bread and butter. For dinner, I had no arrangement.

Every day when I used to leave from office, the only concern in my mind was, “What am I going to have for dinner today!” I tried to visit many restaurants around my place, none of them offered anything without adding meat or fish, or egg at the very least. All bakery items, including bread, used to be cooked with egg powder as a component.

In fact, it wasn’t even easy to ask for anything. Because people here were very uncomfortable with English. I had to use translators to question; and they had to use translators to answer. My friends always used to say that I am very patient. Now was the time to test it.

For a couple of days, or a little more, it was okay. But how long is this going to continue? Three months! I then realised the magnitude of the problem I was going to face. It had been so easy to say it – it sounded heroic and almost magical. To say that we should go out of our comfort zone. But to actually do it...

Some very bad and gripping thoughts came to my mind. Why should I accept it while everyone else like me is so comfortable in their lives? I am a qualified Chartered Accountant. And a very good one for that matter. I got an All India Rank and am placed with one of the most prestigious companies in India, I deserve much more than this! (Today, I am ashamed I had such thoughts. And soon I will tell you the reason for it)

So after a week or two I concluded I am not going to take it very lightly. I simply wanted to go back. I wrote to my managers back in Mumbai. I expressed my disappointment and said I am very sad that this had to happen in this way. But I did not gain a lot by writing to them. Actually, I could not have gained anything. Because it had been my decision.

The next morning when I went to the cafeteria for lunch, once again I had to eat only plain rice with nothing else. In that frustration I told myself, “It looks as if I am eating a beggar’s food”.

And then a very strange thought crossed my mind. It was like a wake-up call. And I was reminded of one incident from my own life. It was like 5 or 6 years back, while I was still in school. We had prepared some delicious food in our home that night since we were expecting some guests. However, a lot of food was left over. And we didn’t know what to do with it. My mother told me to go to the temple nearby where a lot of beggars sit and look forward for food. So I went to this temple.

There I was giving rice to a small child who was begging alongside his paraplegic mother. He was telling me to give him more; and said please give me dal also since how could he eat rice alone. Really! I had thought to myself. Beggars are not choosers. You have been given rice, be thankful for it and eat whatever is available. That memory came flashing back to me.

No it’s not over yet.

As I was giving rice to that child, several other small children had come running and they surrounded me. I got irritated. I did not have so much of food. And really I did not have anything apart from rice. Today I feel ashamed at what I did that time. I got annoyed when they started nagging me and tried to snatch the food from me. I had come there to give them the leftover food. But if I would give it to one child, the others would beg for more. It was a very awful sight. I wanted to go away from there. I wanted to avoid it. Guess what I did?

I did not give the remaining food to any of them. I really got angry when they were all looking at me and begging, and pushing each other out of the way and trying to snatch the food from my hand. “Keep on fighting”, I had said, “none of you will get this”. And I got back to my vehicle, started it and while coming back home I dropped the food in the colony’s litter box.

That night I had really regretted it and had actually vowed never to do this again.

But here, in Korea, when I saw the rice on my plate, that memory came back alive and fresh. I was also having rice, and only rice – which I expected that little innocent child to accept happily. It was just like that boy was sitting in front of me and saying, “Now you know how it feels to eat rice alone? Now you realise how we feel when we don’t know whether we are going to eat anything at all or not”.

I looked at him. At first I didn’t know what to say. But then I came up with an answer. I told him that I was different. Of course I am – I am educated, you are not. I am qualified, you are not. I am earning a lot of money, you are not. So definitely I deserve to have proper food. And then he smiled back and told me this –

Both of us deserved to be educated – but only you got it. Both of us deserved to be qualified – but only you were given that opportunity. Both of us could be earning a lot of money – but you were born to a rich father who could afford to give you all that. Whereas, when I was born – I didn’t even know who my father was…

I was speechless. But at that moment when he went out of sight, I thought to myself. Whatever I have got so far in life – I really have not done anything for it. It was just a gift given by my parents, and God the Almighty! I felt like a loser. What have I achieved out of my own effort! Nothing. Absolutely nothing!

And then I got the answer to all my problems. Here is what I learnt –

1) It is very easy to become complacent of our achievements. A more important question to ask is – what have we sacrificed for it?

Of course I had given a lot of effort and concentration in my studies, which is why I got all the great results in life. But without the support of my father – who worked hard to earn for me. And without the support of my mother, who used to do everything for me when I was studying. What am I? What would I have been? Just like that child begging on the threshold of any random temple? Or even worse?

2) If we want to justify our achievements, we need to get out of our comfort zones.

Well, frankly speaking, food was still not such a big issue in Korea. I am writing this to elaborate on something much bigger than this. It is important for us to realise and appreciate the fact that whatever we have become today is a result of many efforts put in by other people. These are all the people who could do anything for us even now. Our friends, our parents and other well-wishers – while they are around, we will always be protected. And they make a comfortable zone for us. But it also makes us weak. And I realised this only after I stepped away from all the protection.

3) To come out of our comfort zone, we must remember that we are one of the very few people who face the same problem like us.

Yes you read it correctly. We are one of the very few people who face similar problems like us. Majority of the people face problems much bigger that we can’t even imagine. This feeling will make it easy for us to work, and accept. This feeling made me happy. It was this feeling which enabled me to happily accept the rice on my plate and tell myself that I had to make this sacrifice. In fact, it is much less in comparison to what I have got.

4) Moving out of our comfort zone – and only that – will make us better  in life

I can say that now. Today, as I write this blog, I am sitting in a hotel in Seoul, the capital of Korea. And tomorrow I have my flight back to Mumbai. Believe me – I felt very sad all these three months that I had to adjust a lot against many things that I wasn’t used to, in my life. But the happiness, the satisfaction, that I am facing today, of having done it – is much more.

Of course I am not alone. In my own organisation, there are my friends who had to struggle with much bigger things. My one friend had to live in a place away from the city without even a television and even mobile phone was not allowed in the office! Another had to stay in a room full of lizards and surrounded by people speaking foreign languages, living alone.

Their examples, and many more such examples – give me only one lesson. And an inspiration. It is not easy to accept things that we are not comfortable with. But when we face them, it gives a feeling of satisfaction. And it only makes us stronger.

My trip to Korea is now finally coming to an end, I am coming back to India. And I am coming back with a realisation of the fact that many people are facing much bigger problems. Therefore, we should stop complaining about the little ups and downs in our lives. And we should be ready to face unexpected and difficult situations in life.

Ruk jana nahi… tu kahin haar ke!

Kaaton pe chal ke milenge saaye bahaar ke…

Yours forever,

Palkesh Asawa