'Now' is all there is!

I am reading the book “History of the Universe” by Wyken Seagrave. The book talks about the evolution of the Universe, and how it changed from absolute nothingness into everything that we see around us. The story of evolution is interesting and awe-inspiring. But evolution is the study of the present more than it is of the past. In some weird way, we are a part of the evolution! Well, people living on this planet a million years from now would definitely think so.

Lost in this thought, I am sitting by my window at 2 AM in the night as I write this. Mumbai looks unbelievably calm. Across the road I can see the beautifully engineered Indiabulls building. It is more special to me than one could imagine. It was precisely here that I had started my first job about two years ago. How naïve I had been then! At the risk of sounding conceited, I say that I have changed over time.

It’s funny that I was reading about human evolution when this strange thought occurred to me – the thought of my evolution from being the naïve boy who had just moved out of home to whatever I am today. It has been a remarkable journey. As I write this, I am reminded of one incident from my initial days in job.

My boss had asked me about my strengths. Quite confidently I had said that I am an organized person. He had smiled and said that it is a weakness more than strength. I was obviously confused. How is being organized a weakness!? He then explained to me that almost everything in life is unorganized. True strength lies in being comfortable with unorganized things, and in the ability to organize things that look clumsy.

Today, with whatever little experience I have gained, I can appreciate the wisdom in his words. Indeed everything in life seems to be unorganized. We seldom understand why something happened the way it did. I often find myself in that spot where all logic betrays me. I do not understand why deserving candidates fail in exams. I do not understand why everybody is pissed off with their jobs but they still hold on to them. I do not understand why my parents disapprove of some of my actions which seem perfectly fine to me. I do not understand how best friends can turn into strangers or how strangers can turn into lovers forever!

There is so much more in life that we do not understand. Is this all completely random? Or is there some universal code that defines everything? Perhaps such a code may help us understand all the weird things that seem so unstructured!

We can only guess; we may never know.

If you ask me, I think there is one thing common about everything that happens in life. The common factor is – everything happens in the ‘now’. Think about it. What I was two years ago exists only in my memory. What I will be two years into the future exists only in my dreams. The past and the future don’t really exist. Everything happened in ‘now’. Everything will happen in ‘now’.

“Now” is all there is! There is no past and no future. This is perhaps the defining code of life.

This is why I said that evolution is more about the present than about the future. You see, the story of evolution is woefully ignorant of the future. We may have seen everything in the past, but we never know even an ounce about the future. There are many things we do not understand today, but future holds the answers with it.

It is good for us to remember all the good times we’ve spent. We may cherish all the happy memories or regret all our mistakes. That will not change the fact that all those memories are non-existent. In the same manner, we may be apprehensive about our future or we may be worried about how things will unfold. That too, will not change the fact that future is non-existent.

I may sound vague, but sitting here at 2 AM in the night has given me one lesson in life. Evolution is incomplete without the future. But to get to the future, we need to pass through the present. And in this way, evolution is happening right now. I am the past, I am the present and I am the future. 

I exist only now, but I evolve with time. Sadly, it is not my choice. But luckily, it is my privilege!